Coping With Mental Health Challenges During the Holidays

It’s not uncommon for patients to seem almost embarrassed or ashamed, when disclosing at an appointment in October or November, that they may need additional support, throughout the holiday season. They may bring this up by mentioning that this holiday season will be their first without a recently deceased spouse or family member, or by reminding me of their difficult childhood, where their family was impoverished, or they were a witness to violence between their parents, or a chaotic home environment. Many are surprised to find, that they are not alone. The holiday season can bring both tremendous joy to some, but it can also be one of the most difficult times of the year, for others.

Why the Holidays Can Intensify Stress and Depression

Many people feel pressured to be cheerful during the holidays, but emotional distress often increases this time of year. Changes in routine, family expectations, financial strain, social comparison, and winter light changes can all worsen mental health during the holidays. Understanding these triggers is the first step toward managing them more effectively.

As a mental health professional, I find that one of my most important roles throughout the holiday season, is to be unassuming regarding someone’s relationship to the holidays. I’ve learned that asking questions such as “what is this time of the year like for you,” “how were your holidays growing up,” or “do you have plans for the holidays or new year” allow patients to open up about any struggles that they may have during this time of the year. I would actually encourage non mental health providers to take a similar approach. Starting off a conversation with “what a great time of the year, what’s your favorite part about it?” may cause someone to close off, or actually make them feel more alienated, for example.

Signs You May Be Struggling With Holiday Depression

Holiday depression can manifest in a variety of ways, including increased sadness, irritability, withdrawal, changes in sleep, or a loss of interest in usual activities. Some individuals notice intensified grief, while others describe a sense of heaviness that begins as early as October or November. Recognizing these signs early allows for better support and planning.

Practical Strategies to Support Your Mental Health During the Holidays:

1. Stay Connected, Even in Small Ways: Isolation can worsen symptoms of holiday depression. Consider brief, manageable interactions with supportive people. Over time, these small moments of connection help build more positive associations with the season.
2. Make New Traditions on Your Terms: If there are certain activities that you do enjoy, push yourself to engage in those activities, or start new traditions around those activities. For example, if gift-giving or church-going is particularly triggering, a cookie baking, volunteer work, music playing, or holiday themed park tradition may be in order.
3. Keep a Healthy Routine: The holidays often coincide with some time off work, or other breaks from someone’s typical routine. If you normally exercise a couple times a week, wake up and go to bed at reasonable hours, spend a little time outside each day, practice yoga in the mornings, or enjoy reading each evening before bed, try to keep with these healthy routines, throughout the holiday season. You enjoy these activities, and you deserve to continue to do them, even if everyone else seems solely focused on holiday festivities. Maintaining healthy habits throughout any difficult time, generally helps individuals to feel more like themselves, and feel better faster, if depressed, anxious or lonely.
4. Use Alcohol Mindfully: Because alcohol is a depressant, it can worsen anxiety, disrupt sleep, and intensify symptoms of depression. If you choose to drink, do so with awareness of your emotional state. Those with a history of substance use disorders may benefit from abstaining during this time of year.
5. Have Compassion for Yourself: You are not alone. The holidays are not ubiquitously joyous for all. It is ok to not feel ok, and you will feel better. If you do need some time for yourself, or to avoid certain events, grant yourself that. And if you feel that you need additional support, please do not hesitate to reach out to a mental health provider. We’re here to help.