How to Manage Back-to-School Stress

Is your child displaying symptoms of anxiety and worry about the uncertainty and excitement of starting the new school year? Are the symptoms amplifying as the start of school gets closer? While the beginning of the school year can be the most exciting time of the year for some students, others dread going back to school for various reasons.

Indicators of stress can differ from child to child. Some of the most common symptoms of nervousness include irritability, difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, social withdrawal, and somatic features such as headaches and stomachaches. Your child may not recognize or understand the correlation between the stress and their symptoms, but know they are feeling a certain way.

With the first day of school right around the corner, here is a list of exhortations that may help lessen your child’s anxiety related to change and uncertainty pertaining to the return/start of school:

Be an active listener. Often a child needs someone to acknowledge and listen to their concerns. Try to avoid giving advice. Instead, ask them what they think would help them cope and ask how you can specifically help them.

Start a routine at least one week prior to the first day of school. While this schedule may not be exactly like the one, they may follow during the school year, try to mimic the day as close as possible by setting consistent bedtimes and wake times. Have your child perform their morning activities of daily living (ADLs), even if they are not leaving the house. This proposal of setting a routine may not be feasible for all families due to work responsibilities and other engagements, but attempting to slowly ease back into a schedule will reduce stress and make mornings and evenings more enjoyable.

Be prepared. Have your child pick out their attire the night before, decide whether they are going to purchase lunch or pack lunch, and have all required supplies neatly placed in their backpack. If possible, contact the school and ask about a tour of the school grounds, classroom, and/or even riding the school bus prior to the start of school. While at school or on the bus, encourage your child to ask any questions they may have, and reassure them that there are no “dumb” questions.

Don’t focus on the negatives. When your child arrives home from school, ask them specific questions about their day. I like to start with uplifting questions such as “what is the one thing you had so much fun doing today that you would want to do again tomorrow”? Try to stay away from questions that are too broad. For example: “How was your day?” You may receive a generic and/or short response, not eliciting the feedback you were hoping for.

When your child has a rough day and makes a complaint, be sure to give them your full attention and recite back what they told you. If your child states, “I hate school because my teacher is so mean”, my response would include “It  sounds like you had a rough day with your teacher. Can you tell me more about why you feel your teacher is mean?” In an instance like this, the child may not understand their feelings or how to correctly express them. The context of the situation may be misconstrued, and the child views their teacher as being mean related to having asked the student to quit talking during a lesson plan or the teacher raising their voice after a student was running down the hallway. Further conversation can uncover the underlying issue and be addressed.

If your child is still experiencing symptoms abnormal to their personality and/or lasting longer than expected after trying the above interventions, reaching out to a mental and behavioral health specialist may be worthy. They can help your child manage and improve bothersome manifestations of anxiety. Please call my office if you would like to schedule an in-office or virtual appointment to address your concerns.